Perceptional Position Resolves Conflict (Management, Leadership & Coaching No. 11)

Hi! I’m Edward Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics.

I’m going to talk you “Perceptional Position Resolves Conflict”.

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable position of having to go back to someone with whom you just had a conflict to resolve it?

If you have an employee who is constantly way you told that employee you’re better coming in on time but that employee said I need some flexibility, you have to go back to resolve this.

But if you go back with the same information you had, you would likely have the same conflict again.

Perceptional Position as a model you can use that will help you get more information and increase the likelihood a positive outcome.

Now I have here three sheets of paper: number 1, 2 and 3.

I’m going to raise them on the board … in the Triangle …

I believe it or not if you’re doing this yourself which would want to do is arrange them on the floor in your office or private space in a triangle. So you could step on or off in the sheet paper.

Start out stepping out a sheet of paper number 1.

This is the first person position. In this case, you’re being yourself.

You face sheet paper number 2. You imagine the other person standing there and you go through the conversation you’re mad at your head as it happened in real life.

Now you’re picturing this happening, you’re going to make a table like this.

For person number one that’s you. First what your needs and wants? What things you’re trying to accomplish like getting the employees to come to work on time?

Second what are your concerns and constraints? What are you trying to avoid like having about turn employees who stand around different times?

Now that’s the easy part as you’re being viewed on your long with that when you walk over and step onto sheet paper number 2. This is the second person position.

Now you’re going to be the other person. You’re going to face back the sheet paper number 1 and you can imagine yourself standing there.

Now you’re going to imagine the interaction as if we were the second person.

Once again for person number 2, you’re going to ask the question make notes: What are the needs and wants to that person?

Obviously flexibility is one of them. What are their concerns and constraints? Maybe they have a situation at home make it hard for them to get to work on time.

The trip to position number 2 is that when you do this, you’re going to be tempered to play that person is being evil and going to pitch for here or maybe is being stupid because that’s how they seem to you in the conflict.

You have to avoid that temptation. What you want to do instead is played him as being good and positive and intelligent and striving for a best possible outcome.

That’s how they seem put in themselves and now will give you better information in your table.

Now once you finish the position 1 and position 2, you’re going to walk over the sheet paper number 3. This is the observer position. This is like you’re watching through a window. You’re gonna face paper number 1 and paper number 2 equally and you’re gonna try to imagine that you’re watching this whole situation between 1 and 2 on TV.

You don’t care about the outcome you’re just watching the plot.

Now while you’re doing this, you will be watching for the same things.

So for person number 1 who’s really “You”, what are the same other needs and wants and concerns and constraints she might see?

For example, you may notice that there are pressures on you the manager from other managers to enforce consistent policies. That’s part of what’s driving the situation.

Also for the second person, what do you see as needs and wants and concerns and constraints there?

Once again, maybe you notice that person has some concerns about pressures on them for other projects, making them work late which is making it hard for them to get to work on time on the morning.

And you can see what’s happened here, whether or not you ever end up sharing this information anybody else, you’ve got a table of a lot more information than you had before.

This is information you can use to try to come to a better outcome in a situation. So the next time you’re headed into a difficult interaction, take a few minutes and step through that 3 perceptual positions, step in a 1st person position … you … the second person position … the other person … and the third person position and be the observer.

By the way, the reason you want of physically step on in our sheet of paper is biggest changes in your physical position, will help you make changes in your perceptional position.

It may sound silly. I will give you more information increases your chances to the positive outcome and make the process less painful to you.